February 2021

◉ 02/28
- mood: deflated
- card pull: VII of Wands
  • perserverence, defensive, maintaining control

    Sorry I've not written in a while. I've not felt around as much in real life either. Last I updated, I remember feeling such a surge of engergy before winter started, and now here I am drained as we're almost in spring. Had a bit of a hard time today. So it goes.
    Again, another eerie card pull. I've been told by several people I have an intimate connection to the universe and have an old spirit living in me. I must be very attuned to the rhythms in life. Well, for better or for worst, it seems. Whenever I'm swinging in a positive direction, I seem to swing back in the negative just as fast. A desire to maintain control is an understatement. It's something I need to survive.
    Last entry I mentioned COVID scares for my family. All ended up fine. Lost one relative. Still not sure how to feel about it. Grieving is easier for me when feeling sorrow for those outside of my blood family, for reasons I already know. I've felt such immense sadness for those around me. Nothing seems to be getting better. If this card pull means anything, I am guessing I will be back in an upswing soon. I just have to be patient and perservere. I am good at that, at least.